Dear, sweet friends,
I have written and rewritten this email [post] a thousand times in my head over the past few weeks but no matter what I say, this is a tough post for me to write.
Crowded Table is closing.
I started Crowded Table in January 2021 as a creative outlet for myself in the midst of my healthcare work during the height of the pandemic. I wanted an opportunity to make something, to have a tangible object to show for what I'd done, and I'm so proud of what I've built over the past 4 years. There were plenty of misses, sure, but the development of exceptional fragrances through rigorous testing and then learning the branding, marketing, and sales of a product was a fun (yet challenging) way for me to stretch myself. There's something so satisfying about seeing items that you've made yourself in your kitchen on the shelves of shops you admire and then (especially) in your spaces, helping you to create the warm, welcoming atmosphere you want in your spaces. Crowded Table was born out of a dual desire: a creative outlet for me, yes, but also as a way for us to infuse our homes with welcome and encourage gathering with the ones we love.
But the irony of all this is that while I've been busy nurturing this little business baby of mine, I've been missing out on so many other aspects of my life, most notably the lives of my three rapidly growing children. As the business has grown (thank you!), it's meant more time for me not only making the candles themselves but also being gone at markets, fulfilling orders, and doing marketing. This has meant that I've missed a lot in their lives - not only physically been absent, but also often am mentally “checked out” as I think about the miles-long to-do list of running a small business. I've missed Little League games, church events, and more family dinners than I can count. It hit me last week that my youngest, who will start kindergarten next year, was just an infant when this business was dreamed up.
Crowded Table has been doing well and experienced growth every year, so this is not a “my small business is closing because I don't have enough support" email; thank you for choosing my candles for yourselves, for gifting to others, and for sharing with friends and family about my business. I've been so fortunate to have success, and I don't take that for granted. However, there is, I've learned, a large gap between what is sustainable, “fun” income from a side hustle and what is needed to support a family. I'm nowhere near being able to replace my full-time health care salary with Crowded Table and thus going full-time in the business is not an option. Trying to do both has proven a fool's errand; I am a perfectionist in most circumstances, and I have had to realize that I simply cannot give my full-time job (which pays the bills), Crowded Table (which I do love and am so proud of) and my personal life, including my family (which is obviously most important) each the attention that they deserve.
This has not been an easy decision. I have waffled back and forth for many, many months while ultimately knowing that this is the right decision for me and my family. Walking away from a successful business is really hard, especially because Crowded Table has brought me so much joy; I'm so proud of the products I've created and have truly enjoyed my interactions with so many of you over the years. Believe me, the memes on social media about small businesses celebrating your orders and noticing repeat customers is real; if you've ordered from me, especially more than once, I know and can probably remember which scents you've purchased. Your kind emails, sweet product reviews, and positive feedback at in-person events have been so uplifting to me and will be what I will miss most about this business. It is said that when you build a business you're supposed to envision your “ideal customer”; I'm not sure if it was a purposeful decision I made along the way or a fortuitous happenstance, but you are just lovely people and it has been my absolute delight to interact with you in so many different ways over the past few years.
This weekend marks my final in-person market, at The Bizarre Bazaar at the Richmond International Raceway. It's a BIG event, with long shopping hours Thursday through Sunday. This will be your last opportunity to shop Crowded Table candles in person, and I expect to be sold out of several/many (?) of my scents by weekend's end, or even before. I've completed candle production so if there's something you've been eyeing, I'd recommend stopping by the Bizarre Bazaar this weekend or placing an order online; I'll update available quantities of items daily on the website but once something is sold out, unfortunately it won't be coming back.
There is a possibility that Crowded Table will be re-born in one form or another in the future; it may be purchased by another person and brought to life again, though it will never exist in this same way again. If the business isn't sold, I'm not closing the door to EVER re-opening the shop or occasionally making limited-batches of candles available, but I can't think through those plans at the moment, so stay connected if you're interested in seeing what happens in the future. I'll let you know via email if I have scents I need to unload at a discount once things settle down.
This post has gotten far too long, so if you've made it to the end, thank you. It has been cathartic for me to write it and though it has truly been the right decision for me and my family to close up Crowded Table in its current iteration, it is still painful in so many ways to see the end of something I've worked so hard to build. For the role you have played in this little adventure of mine, THANK YOU. You are the best part of this business and what has made it such a joy for me over the past 4 years.
Happy holidays, dear friends, and may your days be merry and bright, surrounded by the ones you love. Hold them tight.
With sincere appreciation,
Cheryl
